Dissatisfaction in relationships can arise because members have different expectations. If so, it’s important to realize early on whether it’s worth moving forward. Have you ever thought about the increase in the number of divorces and separations? This trend can be worrying, or a starting point for engaging with our partner and avoiding “going back” or finding yourself dealing with dissatisfaction. In this article, we talk about the signs of dissatisfaction in a relationship, so that you can identify them and work to improve or avoid them.
Dissatisfaction in the relationship: what causes it?
Since we are born, emotional bonds are very important to human beings. An adult who has developed secure bonds during the first few years of life has a better chance of experiencing intimacy and feeling comfortable in a relationship.
It is equally important to take into account the self-image that each of the members of the couple has. This means that if we love ourselves, it is easier to interact positively with each other.
Otherwise, a negative self-assessment is linked to rejection, addiction, and unhealthy jealousy.
This can cause breakages and separations.
- Most marital problems result from the loss of freedom of one of the members. This means not being able to act as you wish and being tired of always having to seek the consent of your partner.
- On the other hand, we cannot even forget the process of idealization that we all experience when we start a relationship. As that vision of perfection of the other diminishes, you are more likely to start arguing and feel dissatisfaction.
Signs of dissatisfaction in the couple
When we start a relationship, we talk about love, passion, and complicity. Over time, the most used words become a commitment, affection, and security. Dissatisfaction in a couple can develop at any stage, especially when you leave the idealization aside and live together. These are just some of the signs that we are not entirely satisfied with our relationship. We must take action to prevent these small differences from turning into the cause of the separation.
Don’t feel the support of the other
One of the main benefits of having a partner is always feeling supported and protected. Whether it’s for work, a personal project, starting college, or anything like changing the arrangement of furniture or cutting your hair. This does not mean that in order to feel good the other must always say yes, but to be by our side when we need it.If your partner doesn’t approve of you lately or isn’t there at moments that are important to you, maybe that’s the reason for your dissatisfaction.
Arguing for every little thing
It is true that when you live together you need to make daily life as harmonious and pleasant as possible. However, when any excuse is good for arguing, it’s no longer all roses. Making a tragedy of every little thing is a symptom of dissatisfaction since quarrels are used as an escape route to not express what you really feel. To avoid this, it is essential to communicate.
Never accept anything
Regardless of the invitation, receiving “no” as an answer is always unpleasant. It could be an invitation to the cinema, a dinner with friends, going on vacation or buying a new car. Systematic denial is an alarming symptom that we cannot overlook.
Do not share the same ideas regarding the couple
While it is good that everyone has their own opinions on different topics, there is one that is dangerous when it does not coincide: the idea of the relationship.
If one member wants to start a family and the other doesn’t want children, or if in the future one wants to travel around the world and the other to settle in a specific place, things get complicated.
When that idea collides with reality and with what we see, it not only translates into dissatisfaction but also into a wrong perception of the other. We withdraw, we are in a bad mood or irritated by anything that does not coincide with our values.
Feeling that the other contributes nothing to the relationship
When we go through the different stages of life as a couple, we understand that our desires and goals change. However, one of the two may have remained at an earlier stage and this could lead to dissatisfaction. For example, when one thinks that the time has already come to have children and the other continues to think that life as a boyfriend is better.
If the other doesn’t bring us anything, it is because we travel on different frequencies.
The evolution of a couple is fundamental and has to do with complicity, trust, respect, and, above all, love. When one or more of these pillars collapses, it is difficult to feel comfortable.
The other is responsible for everything
Taking responsibility for everything means having different behaviors towards the other, without giving him the real opportunity to choose or think with his own means. For example, choosing what clothes to wear, what to eat, or what jobs to accept.
The limit between wanting to help and meddling in the other’s life is thin and you have to be careful. If a partner is dissatisfied with what they have, they will look for ways to change it.