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How do you support someone in a narcissistic relationship?

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Give attention 

Someone who is in a narcissistic relationship talks about everything, and you need to listen to them. It does not work both ways, but you have to listen for several hours. So, it would be best if you gave them attention. If you forget what they say, you will hear them saying, “Are you listening to the word I said?” This will require being attentive to them when they talk. 

 Through sex 

It is a form of attention and control. It also raises the ego of narcissists. They feel like they’re the best companions in the world. On the other hand, it makes them feel better. 

Get a therapist 

They require someone to solve their problems and take care of all their issues since they are too lazy to do things for themselves. Likewise, they need this listening ear to hear what happened in their time. 

Give love 

Many narcissists were overly spoiled or never got genuine love from their parents. You should give them lots of time and love in the day to tell them how you love them and how special you feel for them. If you do not say these things, they’ll feel bad since they do not have self-esteem at first. They require your approval to feel comfortable.  

Be a robot 

Now you are their robot. It would be best if you do anything narcissists tell you or face a lot of unpleasant consequences. Typically, they will have more outbursts of anger than ever before. You will be controlled like a robot in every way. They will program you to distort the sense of reality during the love bombardment phase. Understand that you are a beautiful person who should not be programmed but allow narcissists to program you. 

Create a safer place to share 

Creating a safer place means listening to their stories without judgment. They may have personal issues, and invalidating them will make them close off from the potential support and isolation. When you inspire them to stay, don’t advise them to look for a perpetrator who could escalate the violence that eventually resorts to physical violence. Be cautious not to give them the usual advice from a friend that says, “Everyone has problems,” “It is just a divorce,” or “You just need to find out.” These things can work for someone who is with an average person.  

Be patient 

Most narcissists don’t know that they’ve been abused. They resist misbehavior because, over time, they have been shaped by the abuser’s stealth tactics and covert. These behaviors almost happen behind closed doors, and I have learned that they can endure more abuse when they speak out loud. Most narcissists go back to the abusers sometimes, and once they understand this fact, they must get angry and hurt to get rid of them. Pushing them adds extra pressure and also makes them feel disappointed, so you need to be patient. 

Form a safety plan 

If you want to support someone in a narcissistic relationship, you should know that the narcissistic wound can arise and manifest when the victim tries to get free and break free. The injury occurs when the ego of the abuser gets bruised, causing the narcissist to do away with the victim. In an intimate relationship, this can mean you need to leave quickly to form a safety plan. Despite the possibility that things will get worse at this point, assist them in planning. 

Avoid blaming 

If somebody tells you confusing stories about your behavior, don’t apologize or question them. Narcissists usually complain about their friends or family members, saying stupid things such as, “I’m sure he did not mean that,” “He is perfect, you do not understand how lucky, or nobody is perfect.” To support them, you need to avoid their blames. 

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