We all give advice, which is good. You will immediately feel very important, competent, and smart. Why not assist someone who needs your assistance? Whether you are planning to be a coach, entrepreneur, or leader, if you know how to give advice is very important. If you give incorrect advice, you will risk being impolite and not assisting others in taking a positive action, which will assist them. As we know, not every piece of advice is equally useful. You need to know how to give advice properly.
Needs of an interlocutor
Before sharing your valuable information with someone, you need to know if an interlocutor needs your advice. And if necessary, which ones? It turns out that:
1. You do not require advice; you need someone to listen to you
For many people in a difficult condition, it is enough to report the information about the problem to be solved, draw conclusions, and express their assumptions. That’s why they don’t need advice from anyone but need your support and attention.
How does this interlocutor behave?
If you recommend this interlocutor advice, it is often:
He doesn’t listen to you but directs the conversation towards him and his problems;
What to do?
Drop the advice and listen.
2. You need proper advice
It normally happens that the so-called adviser, without listening to an interlocutor, without getting into the heart of the matter, stay shallow, starts to share allegedly valuable information, and often talks much about himself. People say this: “I will talk to him about Thomas, and he will tell me about Yerema.
How an interlocutor behaves
An interlocutor feeling that you’re saying something wrong will try to start the conversation again. Otherwise, he will withdraw because he needs a full understanding of the nature of the problem without showing any help.
What to do?
It would be best if you listened to an interlocutor until the end. Indicate what advice would be good for him, what criteria he thinks would solve the problem, etc.
3. Any advice required
Because of a lack of life experience or information, some people require some advice, even if it’s a story about your life.
How does this interlocutor behave?
These people look in your mouth and try to absorb each word you say.
Nine rules on how to give advice
1. Do not force yourself
Provide advice only on request. Don’t demand your point of view. First, all pressure from people is ignored, and second, excessive imposition will make you take responsibility for an outcome of a case. What happens if something happens differently from what it was intended? Are you prepared for that person to return to you and ask for no more?
2. Don’t assert yourself
You know a situation where you will ask a general question and hear the answer: “Do you know yourself?” “How come you don’t understand these elementary things?” or “For those who’re particularly boring”, I will explain “for twentieth times”. Unluckily, those who need to defend themselves at the expense of others will never give up. Many habitually prick an interlocutor before sharing valuable information, artificially settling down.
3. Keep your feelings
For example, if you’re angry with another person about something and it seems he has asked a stupid question, wait until you relax. Giving reckless or careless advice can destroy your long relationship with him.
4. Assess the condition objectively
An interlocutor asks you for an assistant so that you can see his condition from the outside and thus avoid excessive evaluation and criticism, but don’t agree with everything. Remember that an unconscious mind is a virtue of the wise.
5. Share your feelings
If you can praise someone, do that. It will help you relieve stress. Also, if you do not like something, say that you are confused or upset about it.
6. Respect the measure
Repeated advice and comments don’t paint a person but create a reputation for a boring and always disappointing someone. In addition, others may view continued advice as hidden aggression.
7. Evaluate the condition of a person
If your interlocutor is tired, sick, upset, or angry, postpone the discussion to a more convenient time. Of course, if there are no concerns.
8. Consider human psychology
For instance, women and men talk further advice.
If you feel that your opinion is used arrogantly by trying to make unnecessary statements, reject the advice.
How to give a man advice
If your interlocutor is a man, know that male psychology advice is a major blow to pride. So, all advice and comments must be:
If a lady constantly advises a man, this is considered a sign of lack of ineptitude, unmanliness, etc.
Nobody wants to be commanded. So, if you want to comment on a man, introduce it in the mild form.
You must not show a guy your exaggerated courage and awareness. When you tell him, it may be very nice to do it, but if you’re a little scared, that becomes a major incentive for him.
Ask the leading questions to a man. This will make him think he is the one who came up with the idea.
How to advice a woman
Women accept advice more easily because they are very flexible in communication and see advice as a sign of caring, attention, or love. The following methods are suitable for them:
For instance, if a friend complains about not having enough money, discuss how to keep the family budget going.
Asks for another opinion
For instance, a colleague complains that she doesn’t have enough time to prepare supper after work, and you quickly print out recipes but forget the paper in the printer. Be careful when advising women who have too low or high self-esteem, as you risk facing misunderstanding and aggression.
How to advise the manager
If you want to advise your manager on anything, do it carefully. The advice should include:
Speak briefly and without feelings. Attach the required documents, make a comparison table and analyze the materials. Handle the details, discuss the perceived risks and consequences, and then make your suggestions.
Remember that you are a junior, and the boss must be in control of everything. Only make suggestions if you are sure you are correct.
If know how to give advice, you will help many people to solve many questions that may lack answers or have different opinions. If you can tackle those questions, you will be very important to that person. Once you do that, you feel competent and smart. Using this article, you now know how to give advice.