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How To Spice Up Your Marriage


What is worth waiting for. At least the sentence should not apply to every marriage. In marriages, it is more the other way round. The longer the marriage lasts, the more difficult the relationship between the spouses often becomes. A little goodwill can work wonders. We have put together ten tips for how to spice up your marriage.

You don’t necessarily have to refer to every tip. But maybe there is something for you anyway. A single tip could be the decisive factor in not only refreshing your marriage but even saving it into the golden age of your wedding.

Do you remember: why did you get married?

Perhaps the most important tip may create displeasure. Still, it could mean anything. You may have lost track of why you originally married your partner. There must have been a reason for that. No matter the reason: remember and be aware of when you originally married your partner, it was out of love, deep attachment, or other reasons.

Of course, it may be that this reason has faded and no longer has the intrinsic value it originally had. Nevertheless, it could be that this reason is so firmly anchored in you that you no longer consciously perceive it, but it is still the link to your partner. If that reason is ruined, you might have split up and filed for divorce long ago. Since this is not the case, there should be a reason to investigate the matter. At best, you can use it to rejuvenate your marriage.

Go to the wellness weekend

Treat yourself and your spouse to a wellness weekend. Book a nice four-poster bedroom for a cozy get-together in one of the new-fangled accommodation providers. Their business concept is therefore precisely geared towards the fact that partners find the opportunity in a relaxed atmosphere to bring their lifeless relationship back to a level on which one wants to move. Show your partner that you appreciate and show interest in spending time with him/her. The relaxation of mind and body that will hopefully result, could also help to relax your relationship with your partner and enliven your marriage.

Check your tone of voice with one another

A rude tone often creeps into marriage. Perhaps you have adapted the language to your children. Be careful about how you address your spouse or how you react when someone speaks to you. If possible, speak with respect and express your appreciation. Be careful. Listen when the partner says something or speaks to you. Take the words seriously. State at the level you want your relationship to be at.

Check your expectations

What do you expect from your partner? Do you expect him or her to be what you want? Do you feel disappointed when your partner does not react the way you expect? Perhaps blame the partner for just that and take refuge in silence. They inevitably provoke negative moods and arguments. So check your expectations. Do not think that you can raise or re-educate your partner for your benefit. They are partners and not parents in the relationship. Accept the partner in the marriage for who he or she is. Adjust your expectations and behavior accordingly. The partnership will work.

Make compliments

Do you know the power of compliments? Every word, no matter how small, can have an incredible effect. We, humans, are made to be receptive to compliments, often without our being aware of it, but still reacting to it instinctively. 

It doesn’t matter what occasion you compliment. The only decisive factor is that you think the new drill is fantastic, recognize your driving style, would like to eat the bratwurst twice, or simply find it pleasant to sit on the terrace with your partner. You must express what you feel and what you like and you will not worry about how to spice up your marriage.

Don’t keep it to yourself, give your partner a gift with it. It depends on you. Use the moment to perceive things in your partner’s behavior that you would otherwise overlook, but which nevertheless offer an approach to respond to them with positively formulated words.

Spend more time together again

In the beginning, when you were magically drawn to your partner, you may not have had enough time together. If everyone goes their way, this is usually associated with the feeling that the other person is no longer interested in dealing with one another. The assessment is often deceptive.

The partner might want nothing more than that you accompany him or her when shopping, go to the cinema together, join a club or relax while taking a walk in the park. Mind you: You don’t need to deal with each other every free minute. It is enough that you understand your partner as a partner and do what partners do: You spend time together and enjoy activities together.

Harness the power of rituals

Much of what you do regularly creates the expectation that you will do it again tomorrow. Rituals create feelings for us. They strengthen the relationship. They adjust to each other more easily because everyone knows that ritual X is on the agenda tomorrow. The partner is looking forward to meeting you regularly. Going to the cinema together on the second Tuesday of each month has the same effect. Or you can plan a joint forest run for Sunday morning and support your partner in doing something useful for your health. What you perceive as a ritual is much easier and creates a guilty conscience if you deviate from it.