Physical or emotional dominance and dependency are the basis of an unmaintainable partner model. Most of the time, and they can happen at any time and in minor details. Such as a toxic love end relationship.
Each member in a relationship has their thoughts and views on life and the world, and it is not often easy to comprehend each other’s position. However, a relationship can succeed with mastery and love of different social skills and excellent flexibility and negotiating skills.
However, in some cases, being in certain relationships can be hell because toxic love hinders things from going well. In unhealthy relationships, at least one member in that relationship has completely inappropriate attitudes and behaviors. If you’re interested in learning more about this kind of relationship, you can go through this article: “23 Signs that show you’re in a ‘Toxic’ Relationship as a Couple.”
Kinds of love: Toxic love
All loves are not the same. You can find real love that is noble and pure; these are hard to find. True love is love based on freedom, respect, and trust. Also, there are other kinds of love, like passion, which involves much beauty but little commitment.
However, there are also stormy loves; if you refer to them as love, excessive control predominates in this type of love, lack of freedom, and jealousy. This kind of love is poisonous. A love that in many cases lives on addiction and illusion without any support.
This love is undoubtedly a complex subject, so many theorists have tried to understand and approach, without reaching a good decision. One of the most famous theorists for his contribution to comprehending this phenomenon is Sternberg. He is renowned for classifying various kinds of love.
The love triangle theory states that three elements mingle with each other to form one type of love. These elements include commitment, passion, and intimacy. For instance, a love that composes of these three elements is perfect.
Properties of toxic love
But what are the signs of a toxic relationship? What leads to suffering in a relationship? How can a toxic love end relationship? You can find the answers to these questions in the lines below:
Restricted social life
In toxic love, a person puts all friendships aside and enters into a pure and exclusive relationship. It may seem like an act of love, but it’s a loss of independence. The toxic relationship examples include: The individual stopping going to places he usually likes to go, putting aside his interests, neglecting old friends, and eventually ceases to be himself and losing his essence. The atmosphere changes. It can overwhelm a partner and also make the person appear no longer attractive.
2. Need of love approval
A lover who gives authentic love strives for his development and expects nothing from his partner to be happy with his life. On the other hand, signs of toxic relationship includes the individual seeking comfort, stability, and security in the relationship. It is because of the significant uncertainties and the fear of being alone. They are people with little self-confidence.
In relationships that do not function correctly, the need for emotional nurturing can enslave people to habits that can hurt them. For example, creating a relationship dynamic where power is in the hands of one member is typical. It is harmful and not often easy to detect.
Of course, when others pay attention to the causes of this problem, the suffering person often denies everything outright, sometimes in anger. For this reason, a professional counselor is often valuable not only for intervention but also for assisting in a complex problem-identification process.
3. A state of emotional dependence
This kind of insecurity makes a person feel very emotionally dependent because their happiness depends on other people. The situation becomes problematic and addictive to a couple, even if things aren’t right between them.
4. Obsessed with a relationship
To not allow the couple to breathe, varying factors make a person appear obsessed with a relationship. Also, the person doesn’t have healthy behavior that helps keep the connection stable. For instance, they don’t respect or negotiate with the other partner. Every person maintains silence, and no one is willing to approach the other. Consequently, it is hard for a marriage or a couple to go forward.
5. It’s unrealistic and not rational
Unlike what happens in genuine, mature, realistic, and rational love, the person gets to know what he is experiencing and not only feeling but also thinking. Toxic love is authentically loving that is unrealistic in the most negative way because the person lives with illusions and expectations that are not real. A partner may even get nightmares because of what is lingering in the mind. For love to function well, it needs to be mature.
6. Concern about change
In true love, a person gets happy when the other partner does well and desires to develop and grow. A person should not fear change, for as a person, you also fight for your interests without forgetting the interests of the relationship. It is not the same as toxic love because those who suffer from it need everything to be under your control. He doesn’t mind about the happiness of others, only his own. He is excessively selfish. The love is not mutual at all.
Trust between the two partners has its basis on healthy love and freedom of choice. On the other hand, toxic love is the contrary; it is possessive. An individual wants to control his partner and know where he is going and what he is doing at a specific time. The eye is on his partner every time because he suspects that she is not loyal to him.
8. He is a manipulator
Unfortunately, manipulation and emotional blackmail are joint in toxic love. This is because a person is disrespectful to the other partner, selfish, and acts in his interest. The only way they work is to intimidate, blame and instill fear in the other partner. It doesn’t have to be physical. Some things toxic partners say include “You don’t love me if you leave me.” This is how the other partner feels guilty about what happened.
9. Trying to change the other partner.
We talk of toxic love when one partner gives a trial to changing the other member to a higher degree. When love is mature and genuine, the person loves his partner for who he is. On the contrary, toxic girlfriend signs includes trying to change something, like how they appear physically. They end up having makeup on their face to look more attractive, and more so, and may even end up performing plastic surgeries of different body parts.
10. Blame games
Healthy relationships have their bases on negotiation. A blame game occurs when an issue arises, and they have enough empathy to understand others. However, one partner often starts blaming the other in a toxic relationship. Mostly, a toxic lover holds the ever-right attitude and has no room for negotiation.
11. It makes you suffer
Love shouldn’t hurt you, for when you suffer, it’s not true love. Of course, misunderstandings and disputes can arise, but one should resolve them with maturity. The question is easy: does your relationship make you suffer? Then, it is toxic love if your answer is yes.
A true and genuine love should have understanding and amicable solving of disputes when they arise. Each partner should understand the weakness of the other. Other than this, it’s a toxic love, characterized by the above aspects. This kind of toxic love end relationship within a short time.