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My Husband Has Left Me For Another: How Do Get Over It?


You feel your world collapsing, everything projected is suddenly lost, it is no longer real, everything is over and you can only feel pain. You cannot eat, sleep, or do anything in your day today. You have a hard time concentrating and can’t stop crying.

Your husband has left you for another.

The thoughts are catastrophic and overwhelming regarding your future. Everything has changed and you do not know where to start, you just want to stop suffering, sleep and wake up as if none of this had happened.

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Couple break up, tips to start regaining control of your life

The first and most difficult step is to accept the breakup. He stopped loving you, as incredible as it may seem and difficult to understand. That’s right, and although it hurts immensely, your ex-partner has already made his decision, now you must start a new life.

Cut all types of contact:

Calls, messages, facebook, etc. This will help you to avoid having information about how your ex-partner continues his life, what he does or does not do, who he goes out with or enters with, etc. For better or for worse, for a while, you just need to focus and think about yourself and how to get to reestablish your life.

Couple breakup- how to overcome

You may be afraid of what may happen, of suffering, of your future. It is normal, keep calm because you are starting a process where uncertainty and lack of control suppose great to wear and tear. Soon you will overcome these fears because you will see that you have the resources to solve each one of them.

Don’t fight to forget him/her.

That is not the goal, because it is very difficult to forget someone you have loved. You must let time little by little allow you to relocate that person in your heart differently, with another feeling and that the place they occupy is different from what it had been until now.

Tolerate the suffering and pain that this whole process entails.

Cry, unburden yourself, get angry. No problem. This pain will gradually change over time and with the work you do to recover your person.

Do not cling to your past relationship, do not feed all your experiences, and recreate yourself over and over again in them. This will only lead to further increasing your suffering.

If you feel that there is something inside you that you could not tell him because he did not allow you to say goodbye, write a letter where you vent and say everything you would have wanted to express to him. The purpose of this is not to send it or reopen an exchange of words, it is simple for you so that you can finally close the door that will allow you to move forward.
Don’t idealize him or the relationship.

Although the relationship has been wonderful there will be things that were not entirely perfect. Be careful with idealization, because if you only want to see the positive it will be more difficult to overcome it. It is quite common that after a breakup, everything bad “we forget” and everything good is what occupies our mind.

Allow yourself for a while to talk about the issue, vent, and ask for help from family or friends, because soon you will have to start turning your conversations around other topics and thus prevent the problem from being permanently in your daily life.

Psychological help

Ask for psychological help if you feel overwhelmed and you think it is necessary. Some breakups are devastating because many plans, wishes, and illusions are projected onto them and suddenly disappear. Quiet / everything has a solution, despite the pain that it generates, there are things you can do to overcome it. Couples therapy does not have the only objective to maintain the union between two people, but to help and support you when the breakup is a fact.

Get up every day with the attitude of wanting to get out of your pain and wanting to overcome the breakup. This will encourage you to take appropriate actions and thoughts to achieve that end.

Recovering from a breakup

Despite not wanting to get out of bed or from home, you should schedule pleasant activities, occupy your time with activities that fill you up and make you happy, because even though right now your attitude is not the best, you will have pleasant sensations even though you are they only last seconds or minutes.

Remember that motivation appears after the action, that is, even though you do not feel like doing anything, do it, because afterward, you will feel motivated to move on and repeat those activities in the future if they have been pleasant.

Work to restructure your ideas about a resumption of the relationship, and do not nurture hope. Each case is indeed unique and we cannot generalize, but when the other person has made their decision, these thoughts only lead us to remain in pain indefinitely, since what they feed are desires and not reality.

Do physical activity if it allows you to relax and disconnect during the time you are practicing sports.

Discard the ideas that lead you to think that you will have to stop doing things because you do not have a partner. Surround yourself with friends and be able to enjoy their company and their joys, although it is not the same, they will also bring you great satisfaction in your life.
Try to avoid, and change for other more adaptive thoughts, all those in which you imagine what his life will be like now or who he will be with. Do not feed your mind on them, avoid them and transform them because right now they only cause great pain in you.

Allow yourself to overcome your history to reestablish healthy and stable relationships in the future. Overlapping your pain with another relationship is not convenient, you must give yourself time. Manage your pain and cope with it.

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Remember and ask yourself if you really suffer because your partner has left you, or because of the negative thoughts that you are generating after the breakup by interpreting your present and your future as devastating. If you think that you will not be able to be happy, that without your partner your life is over, that you will not be able to move on, that you will not find anyone else or that you will be single forever, you will undoubtedly suffer a series of terribly negative emotions.

Observe and assess the negative and catastrophic quality of how you face your new future.

You must question whether all this you continually think and tell yourself is true, because very probably, although it is difficult to see it at first, those messages that you send to your head are not true. You have been happy in other moments of your life in which that person has not been present, you have overcome other relationships, you have been loved by different people and you also have no powers to guess your future.

For all these reasons, why send you such painful messages? You only know that today you feel pain and that today you must start the path to overcome it, but the terrible future that looms for you is not true, however, your thoughts and the veracity that you give to them are hurting you immensely. That is real.

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