8 questions every man should ask himself before getting married
Question 1. How does your lifestyle match?
Will you be able to fit into each other’s life, enriching it qualitatively? Love is love, but it is difficult to get along with a person who is in many ways different from you: he is a meat eater, she is a vegan; he loves active travel , she is an inveterate homebody; one is a man of art with a fine spiritual organization, the other is a steel lady who runs a large corporation and hates empty talk. Someone in these relationships will have to adjust, break themselves. Are you ready for such sacrifices or do you expect that everything will be resolved by itself? It is better to think about such things on the shore, so that later there will be no disappointments.
Question 2. Are her interests close to you?
Everyone in this life wants to find a kindred spirit with whom they can share their hobbies. Think if you are interested in the company of your woman, can you chat all day long or just be silent for pleasure? What is your compatibility like? What unites you, besides intimacy and amenities? The spark in a relationship isn’t everything. You can fill in the missing fragments with social achievements, communication with friends, give birth to a child. The problem is that children grow up, beauty fades – and what will you get in the bottom line? Will you be able to respect someone who is not interesting to you as a person?
Question 3. On what means does she live, how does she relate to finances?
An important nuance – do your ideas about the item of expenditure coincide, how do you see your roles in a couple? It is good if both are satisfied with the “breadwinner-housewife” scenario, but if not? If your girlfriend dreams of having children and settling at home, and you need a reliable business partner who will solve her problems on her own? Or she is drawn to the metropolis to conquer the model stage, build a career, fly first class, and you want to live in a quiet secluded place and graze cows – this is a serious reason to think if you will weigh each other?
Question 4. Was she married, does she have children, skeletons of the past?
Rare men, falling under the feminine charm, feel the need to delve into the dirty linen of their muse. Why ruin a fairy tale when perfect compatibility is in sight? And then there are surprises in the form of children from a previous marriage who live with their grandmothers, or dozens of men who continue to call her. To avoid such “gifts”, it is better to know about everything in advance. How long has your girlfriend been living alone, does she have children, an unfinished relationship, a stamp in her passport? Anything can happen in life, you should not blindly drag the first person you meet to the registry office.
Question 5. What is her environment, how much does it affect her?
By proposing to a girl, you enter into a relationship not only with her, but also with her closest circle – relatives, friends, cockroaches in her head. Of course, you want it to belong only to you and not stick out of the house unnecessarily. But we are social creatures, which means that there will be other relationships in our life, not always of good quality. Rate her friends, parents, colleagues – how much do they all affect her self-esteem , behavior, outlook on life? Does it easily follow their lead, does it depend on someone else’s opinion? Finally, are you your own authority for her? Such things should not be ignored.
Question 6. Does the girl have bad habits, can you put up with them?
If something annoys you in her behavior, it is better to take care of this in advance. You may not like her relationship with money, her lightheadedness, her hysteria, her habit of plaguing you with jealousy and control. Alas, this is difficult to re-educate, because the character has already been formed. Either you accept your girlfriend with all the flaws, remembering that you yourself are imperfect, or you disagree. Think, can you accept her whole, how close to you is her manner of speech, habits in everyday life? Even the stupidest little things can complicate things, building up a stubborn rejection over the years.
Question 7. How does she relate to problems, is it easy to come to an agreement with her?
Life is difficult and unpredictable, anything can happen – problems at work, with finances, health, psyche. Think about how you will solve this? Are you ready to delve into its difficulties, look for common ground? Can you yourself count on support from her? Is she a victim, a nigga or a life warrior? How deep of a problem can your girlfriend piss off – a broken nail or something more serious? Evaluate its compatibility with your life attitudes, the ability to trust you, work in a team, and make compromises. This is an important skill, without which you can’t live happily ever after.
Question 8. What is it like in everyday life?
Falling in love, each of us wants to seem better than he is in order to make a good impression. That is why the first months of falling in love, we give our best – give gifts, dress beautifully, support romance in every possible way. The problem is that real relationships for 90% consist of everyday life and everyday ordeals – work, cleaning, kitchen, watching TV series. Do you know your girlfriend in everyday life? Not at cool parties, not on vacation, but in a casual setting. How does she spend her time, what is her hobby, how does it all respond to you? Perhaps in everyday life she is a different person. Are you ready for such surprises, or does it drastically affect your compatibility?
If you want to get a real picture of the future, do not hide important information about yourself, be as open as possible. You will either feel good, or you will deceive yourself. Be honest: what do you expect from marriage , what can you close your eyes to, and what can you not imagine your life without? This is not a pragmatic but a realistic approach to love. Either you can be together or not. And the answer, we think, you already know …
