Home relationship Why don’t my relationships last for me? 11 possible causes

Why don’t my relationships last for me? 11 possible causes


There are lots of causes that precipitate the breakdown in a couple of relationship, considering that if each person is a world, with love relationships the number of variables involved is even greater.

Nevertheless, in practice, it is observed that there are a series of mental elements and behavioral phenomena that are more capable than the rest when it comes to wearing down love relationships. Amongst people who go to psychiatric therapy grumbling since they can not preserve courtships in the medium and long term, certain patterns tend to appear that are repeated over and over once again. Let’s see what they are so that, in this way, it is much easier to answer the concern of: “Why do relationships last so little for me?”.

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Possible causes why your relationships do not last

Nobody is born learned, and as far as relationships are concerned, the majority of us require to “keep in mind” what works and what does not work from experience. That is not a bad thing, however a sign that any deep emotional bond is complex and can not be approached from the mentality of reading a user’s manual on love.

There are, however, certain components that gradually can putting an end to the courtship which are often tough to determine and detect as crisis triggers. It should be noted that these causes can appear and overlap at the same time in the exact same couple, and on the other hand, none indicates that the relationship is destined to fail. That stated, let’s see what are these common causes of the dissolution of relationships.

1. Extremely different characters

Personality is a really prominent consider the duration of love relationships, as are non-common or typical interests, shared needs, or converging life objectives.

Beyond the misconception that “opposites attract” in love, reality programs rather the opposite. The more similar the members of the couple are in their character, that is, in how they are, the way they live their life or analyze and deal with the turnarounds of the environment, the more likely they will stay a couple for a very long time.

On the contrary, it is somewhat most likely that two individuals whose characters clash head-on on a repeating basis will last less time together.

2. Fundamental discrepancies relating to future plans

Another factor that can be definitive when it comes to making a couple of relationships work or not are shared aspirations for the future, that is, the plans that any person has regarding their future.

In the same way, as in the previous case, those people with common pastimes or activities and with suitable strategies in between the two members of the couple tend to have things much easier in love.

The long-term plans of an individual are a very crucial aspect of an individual’s life, they constitute the compass or the map on which they build their lives, which is why in some cases it is important to discover somebody who is not incompatible with those expectations.

3. Various conceptions about commitment

Some relationships fail when both members of the couple have various or opposite ideas about what it indicates to dedicate to a relationship.

We do not all have the exact same idea about what a steady and healthy relationship ought to resemble, so differences or arguments can frequently emerge relating to the direction to take in a relationship with another person.

In this area, dedication deserves a prominent reference, one of the main factors that can threaten the survival of the relationship when there is a lack of it in among the members of the couple.

You may be interested: “5 Ways To Keep The Flame Of Love To Life

4. Big distinctions in sex drive level

Distinctions in libido or sexual desire also play a role in the success or failure of a relationship. There are numerous people, both guys, and ladies, who consider it to be one of the most vital aspects of life as a couple.

Like any factor present in the coexistence of a relationship, sex relates to agreement, affection, tourist attraction, caring for the other person, and in general healthy and genuine communication.

The relationship is most likely to have its days numbered if any of these components stop working.

5. Poor management of discussions.

Resistant couples are those who know how to properly manage a discussion or a number of recurring arguments; Without a doubt, this is another of the essential elements to attaining a long lasting partner, due to the fact that it prevents unneeded battles and minutes of great discomfort.

There are numerous ways to incorrectly manage an argument, and among the classic ones, the following stick out: taking any conversation as a struggle of egos, and not as a method to work out or bring positions; not listen to the other person and only understand sharing your own message; continuously ending up being defensive or personally discrediting the other partner.

Associated post: “ Solution For A Healthier And Rewarding Relationship“.

6. Interaction and understanding.

Most of us have read or heard many times that the basis of a good relationship is communication.

In this regard, it ought to also be kept in mind that understanding is just as essential given that a great deal of interaction however without any more understanding will be entirely ineffective for the future of the relationship.

Listening to the other individual, having the ability to express your own sensations, and understanding how to recognize the requirements of the other will be necessary elements for the future of a healthy relationship.


7. Reconciliation problems

Problems that can arise day-to-day in between work and life as a couple are the order of the day in contemporary societies.

The ever-increasing needs of the labor market and the busy rhythms of work are constant for many people who wind up experiencing how their work-life winds up beating their love or relationship life.

8. Addiction problems

Dependency issues wind up damaging not only the person’s own health but also their social, household, and psychological relationships.

That is why when you have a dependency of any kind and or seek professional aid, it is likely that the affected individual will wind up losing their relationship. Due to the fact that individuals with neglected dependencies reach a point where they solely and specifically look for to please their addicting condition without taking into account anything else that happens around them, this occurs.

9. Unwanted relationship

Some people begin their relationship with a partner without truly desiring it, simply for reasons such as public opinion or some type of interest unrelated to real attraction or falling in love.

In these cases, the relationship is born with really little possibility of being lasting, since sooner or later the true inspirations that the person had when starting it will be discovered.

10. Routine

Routine is another of the classic components within the aspects that can speed up the completion of a relationship and it is something that lots of couples have had to deal with as a base test to prosper in the future.

Once the preliminary stage of falling in love or idyll is over, in which everything seems perfect and both partners think that their relationship will last forever, a cooling point is often reached, which has to do with regular and practice. persistent of various habits.

The survival of the relationship will depend upon the different tools that each of its members may have to overcome the routine, the cold, or the decrease in the enthusiasm of the very first phases of it.

11. Infidelities

Some individuals believe that extramarital relations in a relationship can be insurmountable bumps that will inevitably rush each of its members towards its end.

It is likewise true that part of the couple handles to overcome a case of infidelity, and that is again due to the ability of one or both members to reinforce their relationship and discover an element on which to learn to move the relationship forward once again. Obviously, going to couples therapy likewise helps a lot to conquer this type of relationship crisis due to adultery.